found the other keg... it's in the tree
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
