you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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