I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
