NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
