i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
