i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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