also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
