Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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