At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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