Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
