This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
