All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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