Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
