That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
