Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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