if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
