no, he came in my armpit
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
