even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
