What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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