It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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