i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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