yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
3pm strippers are depressing
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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