Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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