I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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