Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
