You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
