happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
