I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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