I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
There are leaves in my underwear?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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