I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
