i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
