you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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