sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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