The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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