i was rollin on her like bob the builder
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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