i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
