I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
