at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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