Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
where does the pee come out of this thing
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
