Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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