Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
