p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
