Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
