I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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