Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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