I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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