im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
