By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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