Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
