im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
