his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
