i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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