Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
