she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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