If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
