I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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