I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
