Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
