What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
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Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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