I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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