Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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