How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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