Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
i think i just lost a toe
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
