oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize