Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We are two peas in an std pod
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
