im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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