just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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