we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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