We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
