i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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