And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
